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DETROIT — During her weekly Zoom happy hour with friend Charity Jones, occasional Zoom user Beth Clayton didn’t notice that her friend had been frozen for 30 minutes, thanks to multiple hits off her new bong.
“Hell yeah, girl. I’m gonna text her right now to see if she’s around tonight,” Clayton thought she told her friend, taking the unflattering, one-eye-closed, mouth-half-open frozen face of Jones as a wink of approval after Clayton relayed the story of her latest date. “Thanks for being such a good listener.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I interrupted,” added Clayton to her friend who in fact hadn’t been connected to the meeting for quite some time. “You finish what you were saying.”
“One minute I’m watching Beth take a hit off her Idris El-bong replica; the next, Zoom freezes up and I’m out of the meeting for like, 30 minutes,” Jones said. “I tried to rejoin the meeting from my phone multiple times, but it told me I had to wait for the meeting host to let me in. So I tried to text her, but our general rule is no phones for our weekly happy hour, so she must’ve put it away before we started. Plus, she’s high as fuck right now.”
“She better not go on another date with that woman. It’s just going to lead to heartbreak,” lamented Jones as she attempted yet again to close and restart Zoom on her laptop, not knowing the full extent of what her horrific frozen visage had wrought.
Sources also claim Beth’s obviously high roommate John Tularu passed by during the exchange, acknowledging the horrific face that was frozen on the screen like some kind of scene from an ice ages exhibit at the museum with a breezy, “Hi Char.”
Joe Rapp is an improviser, graphic designer and unknown local celebrity in Minneapolis, MN. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter @fakejoerapp
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.