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As inflation soars and prices keep rising, everyone seems to be looking for new ways to make money, and this is especially true for small businesses in the over-taxed cannabis industry. In keeping with the trend, recently several cannabis brands have begun to explore the world of cryptocurrencies and “web3” as a marketing tactic, with some even including “NFTs” or “non-fungible tokens” with every purchase of a specific strain.

If you go to your local Buffalo Wild Wings on a UFC night, you’ll usually be able to find someone wearing a polo shirt who can explain what NFTs are – and he’ll usually tell you that they are the future of the Internet, and will soon become the default method of user authentication for the majority of online apps we use, creating a new digital landscape based on something called “interoperability.” And it’ll make you rich, too, of course – as soon as the “crypto blizzard” passes over.

Maybe he’s right. But if you ask me, NFTs have about as much to do with weed as Mitt Romney. You might as well be saying, “this weed comes with a pack of Pokemon cards” – actually, that sounds pretty cool, so forget about that comparison. The point is, Pokemon cards are way cooler than NFTs and/or Mitt Romney.

Now, I’m all in favor of herbal medicine purveyors making money to stay in business, because – let’s be honest – I’m never going to get around to growing my own. But I draw the line at “rare” cartoon animals.

Instead, how about advertising your products based on the qualities of those products? The only NFTs I want to hear about are “Nicely Formed Trichomes.” Just show me a close-up or hand me that magnifying glass.

See? Now that’s what I call a collectible.


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Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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