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The dispensary I work at invited the staff to a “corporate weed training” event, and I am here to warn you, if you find yourself in a similar scenario, do not go! It’s worse than you can imagine. 

I got to this cabin upstate and there were literally no traces of weed. There were pictures. There were nugs of fake weed. There were Powerpoints AND Keynotes filled with images and factoids of weed. So many Powerpoints and Keynotes. 

Side note, why would they use two separate softwares for slideshows? They’re the same thing. Ridiculous. 

Anyway, we drive four hours into the mountains to learn about weed. Not to smoke it, to learn. What a scam! The email clearly said it was a weed retreat but then smoking was strictly prohibited. Instead, we attended lectures on various strains, how it’s grown, how to recognize certain qualities of a strain. Plus, we had to take safety seminars and learn CPR… but never once got an opportunity to smoke!

Even when we asked about experiencing the product so we would have a better understanding of its effects, we were shot down. Nothing. No weed at all. 

At one point they even did an accounting seminar. Why do I even need that?!

And it was a sleepover retreat but when we snuck out of the bunks at night like we’re 12 years old again to go smoke, we got caught and got in trouble. Had to work cafeteria duty the next morning as punishment. I’m 35 years old and have two master’s degrees, and I “got in trouble.” 

Anyway, if your company invites you on a corporate weed retreat, you’ve been warned: 


Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.