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OK, so I joined this weed of the month club called Green Apron, and I have issues.
It arrived on time in a lovely box, though the box was tiny so I was already skeptical as to how it could possibly satiate a month’s worth of weed smoking.
In the box were three sample cannabis strains for the month, vacuum sealed in tiny plastic baggies. And just by looking at them, I could already tell they were barely a gram each, if even that. And there were only THREE!
THREE GRAMS! For the MONTH!
Who do they think ordered this that three tiny baggies would be enough for the month?
Each sample lasted like 30 seconds. My dealer roommate used to hand me more weed than that just for doing the dishes. What a ripoff. This weed box didn’t even last a whole day, let alone a month.
They were interesting strains of cannabis with hugely varied terpene and cannabinoid profiles, sure… but still, I finished it all before I even had breakfast. How are you gonna call yourself weed of the MONTH and not send a month’s worth of weed?! What a scam!
They should be sending like 300 of these little baggies, then we’ll talk. But of course, this is just another money-making scheme from Big Weed, so why am I even surprised?!
Anyway, don’t get Green Apron… well actually, weed is weed, maybe still get it; never mind.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.