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WASHINGTON D.C. — Despite a quality control-related recall in effect, customers who purchased the cannabis strain New Ish have unanimously opted to just smoke the product anyway instead of returning it.

“I considered sending it back when I saw the recall,” stated customer Mike Rash. “…Just kidding, I would never send back cannabis. That’s insane. If they wanna send me some new cannabis, I’ll smoke that too, but if they want this back they will have to pry it from my dead lifeless fingers or wait until I fall asleep or something.”

CEO of CannaCorp Gina Henstridge, the issuer of said recall, was unsurprised by the reaction.

“We need to do the recall so we can say we did it, in case anyone dies or something, but obviously no one will ever send the product back, that’s a ridiculous notion,” she began explaining. “I’m the one that issued the recall and I wouldn’t even give up my weed. Besides, whatever harm the weed causes can probably be fixed by just smoking more, so, whatever.”

Eventually, CannaCorp did receive a few shipments of product being returned for the recall so they disposed of the tainted product by just smoking it themselves.

Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

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