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They always say “hindsight is 20/20.” But, wow… someone really blew it bad missing this one.

Yeah, as a social network, I get it — “Instagram” is snappy and tells you most of what you’re getting in the title. But really, I think we can all agree Instagram should’ve been a weed delivery company — the name just fits so, so perfectly for a service like that. You order, and “instantly” get your “gram!” Come on!

What a missed opportunity. Warren Buffett, Seth Godin, and Dan Bilzerian would all be rolling in their graves if they were dead.

Especially because people can sell cannabis through social media nowadays! To some degree, I appreciate the innovative spirit of people on social media figuring out all sorts of codewords so they can sell incognito without getting caught. But the idea that these people hacked nomenclature to sell weed, yet still didn’t realize the name would’ve been perfect for a weed delivery company, just frustrates me to no end.

Ugh. All the more reason to just legalize it and make Instagram the most weed-friendly social network out there. 

Like, they already took the terms for an expedited time frame and a common quantity in which cannabis is purchased, amalgamated the words into a portmanteau… and then used that brand for a lame-ass pictures app. It’s like running around on Easter looking for colored eggs and telling people the activity you’re doing is basketball — I can see how you’d get there, but it’s not exactly the best use of that term. 

Instagram. It was right there, guys. How did you miss it?!

I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

I expected better.

Shit. I need to calm down. I better call my dealer with the awful company name, Immedia-G, and order up something special.


Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.