Are you of legal age to consume cannabis related news?


The mainstream media keeps talking about how the stock market “took a hit” recently. The thing is, I’ve taken plenty of hits in my life, and I know as well as anyone that when you “take a hit,” you get high immediately afterward. 

Well, I’d like to point out that the stock market isn’t high right now. In fact, it is low. So, obviously, there’s something weird going on with this notion that the stock market has been taking more hits than Seth Rogen.

I’m not saying it’s some kind of conspiracy… but at the very least, the issue warrants further inspection. Not by me, though, because I’m pretty baked right now and frankly have been feeling bummed about putting all my savings in the stock market right when it supposedly started taking hits.

This article was found etched on the wall of our office toilet stall.

Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke

Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.

Click here to learn more.