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ONANCOCK, Va. — Local dispensary Where’s The Leaf has implemented a hack for getting around convoluted cannabis industry banking laws by selling NFTs and “giving away” product.
“Oldest trick in the dispensary book, the weed is the free gift that comes with the other thing. True amateur hour stuff here,” stated owner Jennifer Chen. “For some reason, the government is willing to let us sell a ridiculous jpeg of a monkey wearing a hat with a weed leaf on it for $900, but we can’t offer a digital currency transaction for a legal substance. Fine then, we sell NFTs now.”
Customer Brad Garner expressed relative indifference to the policy, describing it as just a minor annoyance at an extra step in the process.
“Obviously I’d rather just buy weed, but if I need to buy this weird ownership token of a digital image of a monkey with the Where’s The Leaf logo on its shirt, fine, I guess?” Garner began, immediately deleting the image from his phone. “Can you believe there’s people actually buying these things and NOT getting the weed that comes with it? THAT’S the most insane part of all this!”
Though customers rolled their eyes and scoffed at the NFT implementation, without any explanation or reason and defying all logic, the value of NFTs with weed leaves on them surged by 900,000% this past weekend, making the last several patrons at Where’s The Leaf into overnight trillionaires.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.