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NEW YORK — After bringing the campaign I Canna Believe It’s Not Butter before cannabis-infused butter company Canna-Foods, highly acclaimed ad man Arthur Jennings has officially updated his resume, contacted headhunters, and reactivated his LinkedIn profile.
“If you saw their faces when I unveiled that slogan and the promotional strategy, you’d understand,” Jennings began explaining while filling out unemployment paperwork. “They left so quickly… If only I could’ve gotten Fabio to do the spot!”
“I wonder if he’s on LinkedIn…” Jennings added, falling into a Google rabbit hole trying to track down Fabio.
Jennings’ supervisor Beth Sterling declined to directly comment on the failed concept pitch, but did indicate she too is updating her LinkedIn.
“I’m staying in private mode, as it’s not quite necessary yet,” Sterling began explaining while casually perusing Indeed.Com’s job board for ad exec positions. “The fallout of that slogan pitch is like Chernobyl. Anyone in that office is gonna be in career nuclear winter for decades. I’m not done yet, but it’s certainly worth making sure my LinkedIn affairs are in order.”
Despite the incident, Jennings managed to sell CannaFoods on his backup marketing campaign idea and save the account in the final hour with The Breakfast of Hempions.
Cameron Foley is a comedian and writer. He’d prefer you call him Cam.
Disclaimer: This Article Is a Joke
Speaking of absurdity, did you know there are still over 40,000 people locked up on nonviolent cannabis-related charges around the US? It’s time to let them out.